3 signs that you are an authentic leader

A lot has been written about leadership and about the qualities of an authentic leader. This is not intended to be a repetition exercise. This is meant to be about the leadership that comes from within, which has nothing to do with ladders or titles, and everything to do with who you are and your longing for fulfillment. Because first and foremost, you want to lead yourself, don't you? How can you do it? Step one: get to know how to regain control from your autopilot - the pre-programmed, fearful brain - because leadership begins with you.

In fact, what's the point of leading others or climbing ladders, if you are doing so from an unhealthy place inside of you? What if your need to get recognition from others is coming from an empty space, an unmet need for significance? The key question is: where is your motivation to be a leader coming from, at a deeper level? If you know the answer to this question, congratulations! You have done your self-awareness homework.

If you have not found your answer yet, I can assure you that there is a whole new world of meaning and experiences, when you dare to dive deeper.

1. You lead yourself more than others lead you. 

Among other skills, independence is a measure of your strength and self-confidence. Emotionally dependent people are constantly looking for some form of approval from others. Even if they make decisions independently in leadership positions, they are constantly seeking validation and recognition from others. This does not mean that there is something wrong with the need to receive a pat on the back when you do a good job. This means instead that a lack of emotional independence will leave you lost in the uncertainty (read: anxiety), constantly looking for signs of approval at each step of the way. Authentic leaders are independent because they know who they are, where they come from and where they are going. As an authentic leader, you are not afraid to choose because even if you make a misstep and fall, you know how to bounce back, again and again. Your own value system and self-confidence are the cornerstones of your inner strength and resilience.

2. You can see, hear and feel your and others' needs

Authentic leaders have a profound understanding of the 6 human needs, including their own:

1. Certainty

2. Variety/Uncertainty

3. Significance

4. Love/Connection

5. Growth

6. Contribution

You do not stop on the surface. You always want to know more about the needs, the goals and the dreams of the people you are doing business with. This intense curiosity, stemming from your inner drive for connection, is not limited to business relationships. It shows up with almost everyone you meet because a human connection has the potential to nourish growth and learning. Authentic leaders never miss an opportunity to learn and grow, and even more so when the opportunity entails stepping into the unknown of others' motivations. You focus on finding what makes people tick and you find it, one conversation at the time. Instead of being motivated by the need to control others' opinions and behavior, you are genuinely interested in connecting at a deep level with your followers, almost as much as you do with your friends and loved ones. Why do you care? First, because at the end of the day, we are all human beings driven by the exact same needs, even though we choose to meet them in different ways. Second, because leaders that embody the highest human needs know precisely how to inspire everyone around them. Think of growth and contribution: they speak to the best in each one of us.

3. You lead and speak from your purpose (not your ego)

True leaders don't invest in buildings. Jesus never built a building. They invest in people. Why? Because success without a successor is failure. So your legacy should not be in buildings, programs, or projects; your legacy must be in people. Myles Munroe

Authentic leaders are not only passionate about what they do. They are way more passionate about people and contribution. This is the reason why you care about your legacy. In fact, you may not like some tasks and duties that your job requires of you. That's fine and expected because you are a human being and you have a need for variety and growth. Nonetheless, you know how to call upon your inherent motivation and crystal clear intention when it is time to get things done. What I am saying is that you know why you do what you do. Your intention and your purpose are there to lift you up so that you can see and feel what is beyond this pile of pending tasks in front of you. It is your rock solid purpose in life that keeps your vision of the future alive and vividly displayed on the screen of your mind, no matter how many obstacles you will find on your path. Big goals and dreams require both passion AND perseverance. I know, perseverance can be dull and overwhelming at times. However, when your lead from your purpose, people will follow you because they know why you do what you do.